Date: 2026-03-05
Perpetually Positive Interpretations
Positive interpretations gather and eventually form a positive world view.
In 2011, I moved to Singapore. I found a job near the year end, and worked in that firm for less than two years, before the whole team (3 persons) was dismissed by the new manager for the newly launched flagship hedge fund. Near to the dismissal, office life was far from ideal. Two of the top management frequented verbal abuse (“Fucking stupid”), personal attacks (“Use your brain!” to a relatively old and kind office manager lady), and various other not-respectable/demoralizing remarks (“Hong Kong women are fantastic! When I go to Macau, my wife packs condoms for me! Haha!”) to every junior employees in the office.
Interestingly, until the moment I was dismissed, I managed to stay quite positive. Even though there were occasional tears, I was genuinely thankful for those two harsh ones - even though I was thrilled during the whole lifetime of the fund because the fund performed almost unrealistically poorly. I thought to myself: ‘I am just starting out, and I happen to have an opportunity to be exposed to these far-from-ideal treatments. I have a long way to go, and this is great for my personal development. This strengthens me, and I can engrave within myself that I will never do the same.’ A desperate positive spinning. I stayed quite happy, and my inner world was relatively peaceful.
After 15 years, after moving around somewhat, I am back in Singapore. Now with two children, whom I seek to lead via modeling. Unfortunately, I find myself not as positively-interpreting as before. My starting point in 2011 was an uber-positivity, and now I sense that I am at a near neutral level. Slightly positive. My naivety has worn off here and there. Various setbacks and certain firsthand experiences of deep sense of betrayal and disappointments took major parts in this state of mind. I struggle internally, ever more than before, to the extent that I no longer have enough confidence and clarity with my own state of mind to give any quick answers on how I am doing/feeling: “I am not sure.”
Even as I absolutely do not blame the external factors and parties ultimately, I look into the reality with cold eyes and remind myself that I have accustomed myself to rather negative and pessimistic world view of those I interact way too frequently with, for much of the past 15 years. And this is a factor to clear and tackle. Hence I tell myself: “I live my own life, and if unhappily lived, nobody else has any part in it. It is all mine, and only I matter in this equation.” And I finally find something I must stand up for myself, in the most absolute manner. Even as an individual who has no choice but to adapt to a big group, there is a point where such adaptation stops. It is the ever-positive interpretation. A positive world view. So I finally wake up, and I get back. I stop obliging myself to adapt fully, in the healthiest way.
Look at this fascinating fire cracker (plant), growing horizontally. What a big smile I had this morning, looking at this.
And of course,
For the adapting side, adaptation is so necessary that one manages to beat even the law of gravity. However, it does not mean that the direction of gravity ever changes.
Well, it turns out, my genuine thanks to those abusive superiors was indeed accurately placed. What a great personal breakthrough. These moments are precious. My heartful welcome to my very old self. Big hugs and kisses. Welcome back.
This feels somewhat similar to Wonhyo's eureka moment. Even a body of rotten water in scull is worth appreciating. Blissful. How exciting.